I spent a lot of years feeling pretty miserable about how my life had turned out - even though I had a lot of the things I wanted: I was happily married, I’d always wanted to be a mom and had been blessed with children. I followed Jesus Christ and tried to be a good person, but I was extremely discontent.
In fact I diagnosed myself with Chronic Discontentment.
To deal with and solve the discontentment, I just worked harder. I tried to make my house cuter and cleaner. I focused on saving money, then ended up spending the money as retail therapy. I tried to fix the weaknesses and insecurities I saw in my kids and myself. I read books but then felt guilty for neglecting my kids while reading and stopped reading. I stayed up late to get it all done, or to finally have some time to myself. It really got bad when I started withdrawing from social situations because I was sure everyone had a better life than I did.
I felt like a ball in a pinball machine, pinging from one thing to the next to "win big" and solve the discontentment I felt. But it didn't work and so I felt broken and weak.
I didn't know that Contentment was in the middle of all of that. Instead of swinging from one extreme to the other, "All or Nothing", Contentment came when I slowed down the racing, judgmental thoughts of my Inner Critic and leaned into acceptance and sought alignment.
Acceptance of my emotions, rather than avoiding them or reacting to them.
Acceptance of life's struggles. Whenever something went different than I thought it would/should, I thought something had gone wrong. That simply is not true.
Acceptance of my imperfections and loving myself anyway. I had to apply that the to my kids as well.
Alignment with my values, & finding out what I value! Freedom, Creativity, Generosity, & Connection. Alignment by showing respect to myself AND others at the same time. Honoring that others' viewpoints are different than mine. It's my job to uphold any boundaries I've established.
Aligning by offering grace and compassion instead of judgment and prejudice.
Contentment requires Courage, which is uncomfortable AND strengthening.
The Contentment Grid has been updated! It's easier to read and to "plot" why you're feeling discontent.
My hope for you is that it makes it easier to see how you can work your way to the middle; where Contentment lies.
See where you've held painful expectations and release them so you can move toward Acceptance.
Notice the areas you've been rigidly trying to control, loosen your grip and move toward Alignment.
Of course your Inner Critic is going to put up a fight and try to talk you out of it.
Accept that too, Stay anchored to what you value most.
And find Contentment in the middle.
Xo, Meredith
P.S. Courageous Momentum is $75 off during the month of June! Email support@meredithgcoaching.com to take advantage of the offer - or Schedule a Free Consultation HERE.
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