Tip for Tuesday is now a BLOG!
I've been writing my weekly Tip for Tuesday emails for 3 1/2 years, with a brief hiatus for several weeks last Summer, and now it feels time to mature into a BLOG. This will make my weekly emails easier for you to find and share.
It also enables you to leave feedback and I'd love to know what topics you'd find helpful as you get more courageous engaging with your Inner Critic. I'm excited for this new phase!
My Tip for you this Tuesday is to carry out a "Belief Check Up". The following story will explain why:
Paul, my husband, grew up with many German influences because his mother was born in Eastern Germany and immigrated here in 1952. The food, holiday traditions, the language, lederhosen…. and coffee were a big part of his childhood.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we have a principle called The Word of Wisdom. Within this principle we are counseled to not drink hot drinks, coffee especially.
Paul’s grandmother joined the LDS Church as a teenager in Germany, and his mother and father raised their family as active members of the Church.
Almost every Sunday of his childhood, Paul and his family went to visit his grandmother, Omi, in her tiny house in the northwest part of the Salt Lake valley. Some part of the visit always included treats and coffee.
Knowing what he was taught at church about drinking coffee, he felt a little confused, but concluded in his young mind that Germans must be allowed to still drink coffee; like an unwritten clause was in there somewhere.
He carried this memory with him into adulthood, very much honoring Omi and all that she was; loving, determined, hard-working, and faithful just to name a few. She served as a temple worker for years. In order to be a temple worker, she would need to be obedient to the doctrines and principles of the Church.
Like keeping the Word of Wisdom.
So, what about the coffee?
He didn’t stew over it all these years, but talked about it enough that I was very familiar with the tradition and how he would chuckle and shake his head when sharing this story of his childhood.
Some years ago we were in Salt Lake visiting Paul’s parents. At dinner we were remembering Omi, who’s been gone for over 20 years now, and Paul mentioned how their visits usually ended with everyone enjoying a cup of coffee.
My mother-in-law undid her son’s decades long belief in three words: “It was Postum.”
As in “your caffeine-free coffee alternative.”
He sat back with astonishment. Postum!? This news created a complete shift in his belief. It answered all his questions. As a child, Paul had simply interpreted that drink they had at Omi’s as coffee, rationalized it the best he could, and then carried that belief with him into adulthood.
We all have beliefs we’ve carried with us since childhood, but we seldom stop to consider if they still serve us – or if they ever did.
Hence the need for a "Belief Check-Up".
Bringing beliefs from your past into your present will affect the current results you are getting. Carrying old painful beliefs through life is like re-opening wounds over and over again. Those painful moments aren’t still happening, but our memories and beliefs about them make the old pain new again. And again and again.
This is where the Inner Critic comes from. He/She has a job to do: Protecting you from traumatic events in your past. But it goes about it in a misguided way by cutting you down with harsh self-talk or untruths.
The painful, or confusing, things that happened to you need to be acknowledged, but your Inner Critic doesn't want to go there.
So, It takes courage look at those things with a lens of new understanding; Mature understanding that you didn't have as a child.
Then you can know which beliefs to let go of - since they aren’t serving you in a purposeful way - and recommit to the beliefs that do bring you joy and desired results.
Much Love,
Meredith
P.S. You may not even be aware of what beliefs from the past you are still carrying with you. The results you currently have in your life will often be an indication of those past beliefs, and why you feel “stuck” in some areas of your life. Schedule a FREE 30 minute Zoom Consultation with me and I'll help you with your Belief Check Up.
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