I love learning the meaning of words, I don't always remember the meaning - but several times a day I use my favorite app - Powerthesaurus
When I come across a word that I'm not really familiar with, or one that I want further understanding of, I go look it up. I read through the list of synonyms and then the definition.
Sometimes I find a word that really sticks with me. One of those is the word Forbearance.
Powerthesaurus listed 712 Synonyms for Forbearance (but I'd have to upgrade to Pro to see all of them, and I don't need that many).
The top 10 are:
patience
tolerance
indulgence
leniency
clemency
resignation
endurance
toleration
mercy
restraint.
Forbearance is defined as patient self-control; restraint and tolerance under provocation.
I found that to be a very desirable quality to practice and improve at. Slowly, I think I'm getting there.
Here's are a few examples that allow you to practice Forbearance:
When you have an urge to eat, but you're not hungry.
When you want to give up because something feels too hard to attain.
When you have painful thoughts about how you think someone views you.
When you find yourself worrying about things outside of your control.
When you find yourself worrying about things within your control.
When you think harsh and critical thoughts about yourself.
When someone says or does something you don't like.
When you become aware that what you're thinking or feeling is painful in some way, simply notice it... then practice Forbearance.
Pause instead of proceeding; Remind yourself to separate what is TRUE and what is IMAGINED.
Don't allow your thoughts to provoke you. See them for what they really are...
Your brains' attempt to keep you safe.
Lies to protect you from discomfort.
Old thinking patterns that were created long ago, but are outdated.
False beliefs about how much control you have - or should have.
Fear of failure or not being good enough.
Forbearance isn't just for when we feel provoked by others, it is for when our own brain provokes us.
And that happens A LOT.
Choose a day to really pay attention to how often your brain offers you these thoughts, and how powerful it is to "refrain from proceeding; To pause" and then let go of those thoughts if they aren't benefitting you.
If you find it difficult to let go of them, Life Coaching can really help. This is the work I do with my clients. Reach out to me at support@meredithgcoaching.com and I'll let you know how we can work on it together.
Xo,
Meredith
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