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Unintentional Nurturing

Writer: Meredith GardnerMeredith Gardner

At our wedding party just after we were married, my sister in law, Ann, quoted from a gardening book she'd been reading. It said, "Marry a gardener and you'll be happy for life."


It was a fun twist on words, since I was literally marrying a "Gardner". I've since taken on the role of "gardener" as a hobby that keeps me very happy as well.


Gardening is therapeutic and creationary for me.


I can't believe I can put a tiny seed in the soil and less than 60 days later, harvest MANY zucchini.


Or put a chunk of sprouting potato deep into the ground and 90 days later dig up MANY potatoes.


We compost throughout the year and sometimes volunteer plants spring up from the seeds that were in the compost. We have enjoyed the most delicious cantaloupes this way.


It is simply miraculous.


It is also frustrating and full of loss.


This Spring I started about 50 plants indoors. They grew quickly and I felt so successful. I hardened them outside over a span of a couple weeks and when I planted them into our garden boxes... 90% of them died.


Gardening requires nurturing. It also requires knowing what you are nurturing.


A few years ago a volunteer Dill plant started growing. It was so convenient because I was planning on pickling our home-grown cucumbers in the Fall.


I made sure that Dill plant got plenty of water and it thrived!

A weed that I thought was Dill
The NOT Dill Plant

Then one morning while on a walk I noticed big weeds on the side of the road .... they looked just like my Dill!

A little further along my walk I noticed ACTUAL Dill growing in someone's garden. I was dumbfounded!


I had been unintentionally nurturing a weed, believing it was useful and just what I wanted.


If you've never mistaken a weed for a useful plant, maybe you can relate to this -


There are several parts of my yard where the sprinkler overshoots the grass and waters the rock beds. Weeds inevitably sprout and make themselves at home in these areas where they are being unintentionally nurtured.



How often do we do that with beliefs about ourselves or others?


Much more often than we realize.


We hold on to and unintentionally nurture beliefs that aren't useful, like we think they are.


They aren't true, but we've mistaken them as being so and we continue nurturing them by believing them, rehashing them, and acting from them.


The good news is the pattern can be broken when we become aware of what we're nurturing and decide to nurture something else.


I went straight home after my walk and ripped out that weed. It was too late in the season the grow actual Dill, but you better believe I know what it looks like now and can grow it intentionally.


Believing in yourself takes the same intentional weeding and nurturing. Stop wasting your life believing outdated lies that are making you miserable.


Nurture the truth about you; That you are amazing, interesting, fun, capable - or anything else you wish were true about you.


Because you make it true, by intentionally nurturing it.


Xo,

Meredith







 
 
 

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Meredith Gardner, Inner Critic Coach
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